A Night at the Circus Review by Kitty

 

Being self-employed has its advantages - a very short commute, being able to work in the world's scuzziest bathrobe, not having to listen to coworkers prattle on about the previous night's episode of EastEnders. Unfortunately, it also has it's disadvantages...the main one being that the weekend is a fairly elastic concept. So it was that I managed to miss a whole six hours of the Firm's Dark Circus event at the Goldsmith's Tavern in Deptford. However, the four and a bit hours I was there were certainly fun packed...but I wish I hadn't been stuck at home writing computer code all afternoon!

For those of you who don't know, The Firm is "a politico-criminal organisation dedicated to the proliferation of SM in all its safe, sane and consensual forms". Sounds fun, eh? Well, it's not actually as boring as it sounds...in fact it is nowhere near as boring as it sounds...in fact it is silly and irreverent and a prime example of British SM eccentricity at its very best!! Oh, and they organise bloody good parties!!

The venue for Dark Circus was a large pub with garden area in the wilds of South East London (hey, I'm a West London Girl, so it seems wild down there to me!). There was plenty of seating, a good sized dance/play area and a nice canopied garden which Alex (Cobra) put to good use...making enough noise to disturb most of the local area. There was also food, maids, clowns (everyone loves clowns...apparently) and a very eclectic happy crowd - all without any chemical assistance (apart from beer!). There was also one of the nastiest ladies loos I have experienced in a long time - but at least it flushed! (Note from the management; We will have sorted this problem by next time)

I arrived in time to see the hilarious Dog Show, where five eager mutts competed to show off their fetching, eating and obedience skills. A special bonus prize had to be awarded to the young man who actually *could* lick his own genitals (it's a wonder he ever leaves the house!!). This was followed by Miss Viva Las Vegas - who did things with a selection of toy snakes which I'm sure weren't intended by the manufacturers!

The entertainment programme dispensed with (I told you I missed a lot), the main room was soon resonating to the usual thwacking sounds associated with Firm events...these people like to play (hurrah!). This definitely wasn't a 'dress up and parade' event, but a chance to have some seriously dirty fun...your intrepid reviewer even got into the swing of things, a rare occurrence indeed these days (although I am powerless to resist an evil woman with a large knife and an even larger grin on her face!).

Music policy at Firm events is along the lines of "it has to have a recognisable tune and you have to be able to sing along to it loudly when you have imbibed enough of your favourite beverage". No bad thing in my book - although I could have done without 'Ernie the Fastest Milk Float in the West' whilst I was having a layer of skin removed from my bottom!! Oh, and can someone buy a new version of 'Come Up and See Me, Make me Smile' please...I really like that song and it was jumping around all over the place! Ishmael did a fabulous 'air guitar/mike/whatever' on Nice n Sleazy...I doubt Hugh Cornwell himself does a better performance! (Note from the management; The Fastest Milk Float in the West has since been broken up with a hammer)

All too soon it was chucking out time and I was gingerly getting into the car (ouch!) for my usual 'where the fuck am I' navigation through South London...have they got something against signs down there?? A bloody good time was had by all, from the looks of it - when's the next one, Ish?

Pictures of Dark Circus

Index