A Night at the
Circus – Review by Kitty
Being
self-employed has its advantages - a very short commute, being able to work in
the world's scuzziest bathrobe, not having to listen to coworkers prattle on
about the previous night's episode of EastEnders. Unfortunately, it also has
it's disadvantages...the main one being that the weekend is a fairly elastic
concept. So it was that I managed to miss a whole six hours of the Firm's Dark
Circus event at the Goldsmith's Tavern in Deptford. However, the four and a bit
hours I was there were certainly fun packed...but I wish I hadn't been stuck at
home writing computer code all afternoon!
For those
of you who don't know, The Firm is "a politico-criminal organisation
dedicated to the proliferation of SM in all its safe, sane and consensual
forms". Sounds fun, eh? Well, it's not actually as boring as it
sounds...in fact it is nowhere near as boring as it sounds...in fact it is silly
and irreverent and a prime example of British SM eccentricity at its very
best!! Oh, and they organise bloody good parties!!
The venue
for Dark Circus was a large pub with garden area in the wilds of South East
London (hey, I'm a West London Girl, so it seems wild down there to me!). There
was plenty of seating, a good sized dance/play area and a nice canopied garden
which Alex (Cobra) put to good use...making enough noise to disturb most of the
local area. There was also food, maids, clowns (everyone loves
clowns...apparently) and a very eclectic happy crowd - all without any chemical
assistance (apart from beer!). There was also one of the nastiest ladies loos I
have experienced in a long time - but at least it flushed! (Note from the management; We will have
sorted this problem by next time)
I arrived
in time to see the hilarious Dog Show, where five eager mutts competed to show
off their fetching, eating and obedience skills. A special bonus prize had to
be awarded to the young man who actually *could* lick his own genitals (it's a
wonder he ever leaves the house!!). This was followed by Miss Viva Las Vegas -
who did things with a selection of toy snakes which I'm sure weren't intended
by the manufacturers!
The
entertainment programme dispensed with (I told you I missed a lot), the main
room was soon resonating to the usual thwacking sounds associated with Firm
events...these people like to play (hurrah!). This definitely wasn't a 'dress
up and parade' event, but a chance to have some seriously dirty fun...your
intrepid reviewer even got into the swing of things, a rare occurrence indeed
these days (although I am powerless to resist an evil woman with a large knife
and an even larger grin on her face!).
Music
policy at Firm events is along the lines of "it has to have a recognisable
tune and you have to be able to sing along to it loudly when you have imbibed
enough of your favourite beverage". No bad thing in my book - although I
could have done without 'Ernie the Fastest Milk Float in the West' whilst I was
having a layer of skin removed from my bottom!! Oh, and can someone buy a new
version of 'Come Up and See Me, Make me Smile' please...I really like that song
and it was jumping around all over the place! Ishmael did a fabulous 'air
guitar/mike/whatever' on Nice n Sleazy...I doubt Hugh Cornwell himself does a
better performance! (Note
from the management; The Fastest Milk Float in the West has since been broken
up with a hammer)
All too
soon it was chucking out time and I was gingerly getting into the car (ouch!)
for my usual 'where the fuck am I' navigation through
Pictures of
Dark Circus