
I met Eckhardt in August 1988, at a club called Der Putsch. He was a young man
with a moped, and I was a young man with nowhere to live. Some months later, I
asked if I could borrow his floor to sleep on. I liked it so much it was about
two years before I found a flat of my own.
The Scene was a very small place back at the end of the 80s, and the
opportunities for single men were pretty limited. The choice seemed to be
between standing on the periphery at Der Putsch, waiting for an opportunity to
be noticed, or paying a huge fee to attend one of the 'Spanking Parties' that
my then girlfriend told us about. On balance, Der Putsch was definitely the
better bet, but the 'getting noticed' bit could be a bit of a trial, even for
good looking young men. If being one of the gang was such uphill work, we
reasoned, maybe we should start a gang of our own.
After dallying with the name 'Submissives Against the Bomb', we settled on 'The
Firm' because it sounded scarier and had all the right overtones of gangster
chic. We wanted to sound as if we had big cars, brief cases full of used notes,
and legions of molls.
We started an assiduous recruiting drive, compiling a list of addresses. In a
relatively short time, we were ready for our first outing.
A man called Terry was opening a new club in
Gauging the success of this sort of self-publicity is really a matter of
waiting for the propaganda to get repeated back. By summer, we had turned up
team-handed at a number of events, including the Der Putsch Boat Party, and I
got the first whisper that we were doing it right.
A dominatrix named Shane was recounting a party in Clapton that had turned ugly
when the family upstairs had threatened to beat us up. Shane explained that
while a huge man (named Tiny) held off the bad guys with a milk crate, 'The
Firm got everybody out'. It is always very pleasant to be lionised by lovely
women - especially ones with thigh boots and whips - but 'The Firm' that night
had been Eckhardt, Zabrowcki, Me and Slave George, and all that we had really
done was organise the retreat, yet here we were being described like the heroes
of Entebbe.
(Clapton is still the best place in
The other thing we did that year was go on adventures, one to deepest rural
As autumn drew on, we offered The Firm's capacity for hard work to The Sex
Maniacs' Ball (and it was hard work). We recruited a great number of
volunteers, even co-opting the formidable Madam Clare to take the part of a
Roman matron in a play.
So it was with no little satisfaction that Eckhardt and I swaggered into Der
Putsch in October 1989 - in less than a year, we had staged a superb party,
practically produced The Sex Maniacs' Ball, rescued a bevy of pretty dominatrices
from bottle-hurling psychopaths, and invaded Wales: We were the mutt's nuts,
and wanted as many people as possible to realise it.
Sadly, the one person who seemed oblivious to the fact was the woman who had
been the apple of my eye for months. There she was, snogging another woman, and
I felt thoroughly deflated.
The Scene was changing, and growing fast. Club Submission had started, and it
wasn't long before
This left us with a puzzle: the jewel in the Der Putsch crown had been the Boat
Party, and with their demise, it lay in the dust. The opportunity lay open for
another promoter to take up the oars, but which one?
Considering the options, a boat didn't seem to lend itself to what we perceived
as the agendas of Submission or
The first Firm Boat party sailed on
It was too much fun to give up.

Quo vix attinget Foederati punire possumus!