Oswald Nooseworthy  

 

 

 

Oswald, an outstanding intellectual, intends to study Moral Philosophy and Humanity at Oxbridge, thereafter, a career in politics beckons. To this end, Oswald has already gained some attention, (and no little notoriety) with a series of books and pamphlets in which he expounds his own unique political perspective.

          “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire:  Were Single Mothers to blame?” Gives an insight into the depth of Oswald’s social awareness within an historical context.

          He gained more public interest with his next publication in which he revealed the humanitarian aspect of his character;

 “The Solution to Poverty in the Third World:  The Case for British Recolonisation of Africa”.

          It was, however, his most recent work which attracted most controversy:

“The Slave Trade:  Historical Fact or Liberal Fiction?”

          This proved too much for the authorities at St. Gruaniads 6th form Academy, who felt obliged to expel him and ultimately led to his arrival at LCPS (since no other educational establishment would accept him.)

          When asked about his hobbies and interests, Oswald replied that he thoroughly enjoyed both sorts of hobby. That is, hunting and shooting.

          Oswald remains incredulous that despite his superior intellect, natural breeding and inherent leadership qualities, he has somehow been passed over for School Captain. Most at LCPS remain incredulous that he has thus far managed to survive here.

         

 

 

Badge colour:  Red, white and blue.

 

 

 

 

STOP PRESS:    Oswald intends to attend the Mrs Thatcher Death Party (to be held in Trafalgar Square on the first Saturday following the demise of the iron maiden and organized by Class War). This, he believes, will be the focal point of a national day of commemoration to celebrate the life and achievements of the great leader.

 Oswald has not previously encountered Class War but wholly supports the concept and looks forward to meeting kindred spirits who share his abhorrence at liberal decadence and recognize the need for ruthless suppression and violence to put the lower orders of society in their place. Oswald feels sure that Class War will be equally keen to make his acquaintance.

         

ALL LCPS STUDENTS ARE OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE