DO YOU SUFFER FROM DOMINATRIX TOXAEMIA?

So how many of us really do suffer from DT? Is it a bona fide medical condition, or just a piece of nonsensical detritus trotted out by a disgruntled hack in order to stir up disaffection? Just for fun, we have compiled this quick quiz for any of you tired of poring over medical dictionaries in search of something that may be wrong with you. Just answer the following questions, write your answers on a piece of paper, and compare the results at the end.

• 1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PRE-SEX ACTIVITY?
  a) Prolonged cunnilingus
  b) Spanking your lover
  c) Sex? I don't do that
• 2. YOU GO TO NEVERWHERE FOR THE EVENING; WHO PAYS?
  a) You do
  b) Your slave
  c) Some hapless passer-by you shanghai at the door.
• 3. HOW DO YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO A MAN SOCIALLY?
  a) By your Forename
  b) By your title
  c) You don't speak to men socially
• 4. IN YOUR ESTIMATION, WHO DOES THE MOST FOR THE SCENE?
  a) Publishers like Tim Woodward of Skin 2 and Zak Jane Kier (formerly) of Forum
  b) Club organisers
  c) You
• 5. WHAT PARTICULAR QUALITIES DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A SLAVE?
  a) Efficiency
  b) Cute, resilient buttocks
  c) Slaves have NO particular qualities
• 6. WHO SUPPLIES YOUR WARDROBE?
  a) Walker's Court (col. Orgasm Alley)
  b) Skin Two
  c) You've absolutely no idea.
• 7. WHAT IS THE MOST ENJOYABLE THING ABOUT BEING A MISTRESS?
  a) The clothes
  b) Pleasure and pain
  c) Talking in a loud voice about how important you are.
• 8. WHAT DO YOU READ TO PASS THE TIME?
  a) Crime, adventure, romance or science fiction
  b) Erotica
  c) Your autobiography.
• 9. WHAT IS YOUR TITLE?
  a) Miss, Ms, Mrs.
  b) Mistress, Madame
  c) Almighty and Undisputed Princess and Priestess of Pain and Power.
• 10. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS YOUR SLAVE'S FAVOURITE?
  a) Domestic chores
  b) Being spanked, caned or humiliated
  c) I couldn't care less.

HOW DID YOU SCORE?

Mostly "A's":
My goodness, how boring! You really haven't got into the Scene very far, have you? What you really need is a really good course of instruction - preferably while wearing a collar and lead! Contact Ishmael Skyes. PO Box 10937, London, N15 6PE.

Mostly "B's":
Well you're certainly a proper Mistress and that's a fact. Both feet are firmly on the ground-usually with someone licking them. Though you may be irresistible in role, you are not pathologically affected out of it. Every slave's dream in fact. Contact Ishmael Skyes, PO Box 10937, London, N15 6PE.

Mostly "C's":
I hope I don't meet you at a crowded bus stop-it would mean your chauffeur had died and you'd be in a foul frame of mind! This domination lark has got wholly under your skin and into your very subconscious. You must read Mistress van der Graf's book as soon as it published. For further details send £17.50 to Ishmael Skyes PO Box 10937, London, N15 6PE