The Firm


We are deliberately keeping this simple and inexpensive; there is a very good narrative reason for this, and it is that the LCPS fees are reasonably high, leaving a relatively small margin for kit: Those sending students are not likely to be shelling out top-whack for the best, and once the unfortunate pupil is dispatched, he/she is most definitely out of sight and out of mind…

The basic uniform is:

Boys – Black or grey shorts (long trousers only at guardian’s discretion), white or grey shirt, grey socks, black shoes or boots, school tie.

Girls – Black or Navy skirt, White blouse, white socks or black tights, black shoes, school tie.

Simple and inexpensive; nobody cannot afford to dress the part.

The gangs, of course, have their own variants on the uniform:

Old School

For some reason, Old School seems to have money to spare to trick its members out in proper traditional uniform, in accordance with the old uniform code, so gymslips and blazers are quite approved of. White socks for girls.

New School

Stockings for girls (what do you mean, tights?), and generally short skirts. Kinda Grange Hill Dockers* considered cool for boys, but generally not girls.

Sharp Set

Gangsterish; waistcoats, and possible even the odd carnation. Tight trousers for boys, pencil skirts for girls, and good shoes. Style is paramount, and by some means, Sharp Set has the mazuma to acquire it.


PE kit, or uniform in the style of AC/DC’s Angus Young. A kind of admixture of Jock and Rocker. Leather jackets occasionally replace blazers, and ties are more generally worn as belts, battle honours or lanyards. Heavy doesn’t really like uniform very much, and definitely not ties.


It's the uniform, but so heavily ripped and safety pinned to be more a tribal identity than regulation. Spiked hair, studded wristbands and collars, Dockers.

Blue Brigade

Ultra smart, with drainpipe trousers for boys (worn at half mast, to show off the boots), short tight skirts for girls, with opaque black tights. Shining black Dockers, the higher up the leg the better, and black leather gloves. Blue Brigade armband.

LCPS ties are on sale at Detention at the very reasonable price of £5 each.


Well, dress like a teacher – be as academic or as sexy as you like; caps and gowns are good, but not de-rigueur; it depends on your character.

*Dockers; LCPS slang for Dr Marten’s famous boots, which were never designed for the purpose of kicking heads in, honestly.

What we don't really want is the whole rubber/leather/pvc kinky look; I know it’s on the flyer but that was rather a mistake on our part - it’s just not what the event is about. It's not that we don’t like the look – we do – just not in school (one person, for instance, did turn up at the last Detention – just like that – and as far as we could tell, deliberately to undermine it). If you want to be a dominatrix on the night of the 14th, we commend you to our honourable friends at Club Rub. (There you go Kim.)