Welcome to The Firm’s website

Are you a journalist or television researcher? If so click here before you start.

We are a politico-criminal organisation* dedicated to the proliferation of SM in all it's safe, sane and consensual forms.

Rubber Joe with Firm's flag

* well, in some countries where SM is illegal and they haven't heard of us.

Where we’re at

As we all know, the true purpose of the internet is the peddling of pornography, and if you have spent anytime at all exploring the vast tranches of smut available electronically (or indeed ventured into the real world, where we started out) , the astute among you will have noticed that most of the sex industry suppliers seem much more interested in your money than your erogenous zones.


Opinions on the financial side of sex vary from the right wing, Christian Fundamentalist ‘Shave all the harlots’ claptrap, to that Eighties feminist angle that prostitution is simply the best economic use that a woman can make of her body. (Please, don’t ask me who said that. I will try to find out in the fullness of time.) The Firm’s take on the subject is ‘Let’s do it for fun, and give as many other people the chance of doing it for fun as possible’. Ok, we admit it ain’t Socrates, but it’s a philosophy. We’re far too pragmatic to imagine that we’re changing the world, or indeed imperilling Paul Raymond’s profits by this, our little bit of subversion, but the important thing is...wait for it... we’re having a lovely time, and that’s what matters.

Joining The Firm

Ah, if only it were that easy! You don’t join secret politico-criminal organisations just by walking up to the front door and ringing the bell, you know: what would be the fun in that? Those, whose watchful eyes play across the SM scene on the lookout for recruits, do not consider asking to join The Firm a plus. The key – and this is the only clue we are giving, mark you – is to read this web site carefully and to act as you think most appropriate, and if you’ve got it right, we’ll let you know. (Anyone wearing a leather apron and a rolled up trouser leg will only be admitted providing they stay like that!)

All right, the above might read as coy and pretentious, but SM is all about pretence, so we’re sticking to our guns. Now, this membership stuff, what does it actually enable you to do? As a Firm Member, you will be offered as many interesting situations as your commitment can handle, some of them are likely to involve such perverted delights as making ice-cream sundaes, rigging lights, and fettling dungeon equipment. We will not lie to you, the SM Scene is no more all play and no work than any other part of the entertainment industry. But for some there can be even more fun as part of a hard-working team of organisers than there is for those very special people who come along and pay their money at the door.

We are still not sure if fettling away like a brave little sapper will set you on the road to the dungeon any faster than a handful of tenners – but what we are sure of is that the journey there will be a great deal more fun.

White Room

SM: A Hobby

There are many people, who having found a pleasant hobby to occupy them, realise that they are not actually very good at the activity itself, and turn their attention to the other prime interest of hobbyists, which is telling other people what to do. We try to keep this kind of stuff to a minimum.

Our hobby is SM, an exciting form of sexual expression that often involves massive endorphin highs, and usually hurts. Let certain highly-produced magazines not lie to you, it is not just about clothes, however expensive. The cane that the oh-so pretty woman in the PVC is holding gives a tear-jerking sting, but it is still only a game. When adults start to play such games, the scope for hijacking all manner of establishment hokum becomes almost irresistible... We don’t just paint everything black any more, there is too much scope elsewhere.


SM is our vocation, not our job, and it is creative, imaginative, enthusiastic and intelligent people who are most especially welcome (though the merely rich or decorative are seldom shown the door).

Being a voluntary organisation, means that we have scope to improvise, fool around and try new ideas. Much of the stuff we've done, the parties, the Boat, the Boxing Ring, the School Room et al, wouldn't have come about without serious input of those donating their time to the cause of SM.

The Firm is very grateful to all it's members down the years: the computer experts, dominas, the maids, riggers, performers, front of house staff, organisers; we salute them all.

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